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Rianna

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(no subject) [Nov. 29th, 2009|10:15 pm]
I know, it seems like eons since I’ve stuck my head on live journal and commented or posted anything. I honestly got lost in face book and real life matters. I’ve started reading everyone’s posts, and I realized I missed the intimacy (of sorts) we have on this forum.

I also realized, one can’t be too open on FB, especially when many coworkers and old friends lurk. We’ve had tons of drama at work that I’ve tried to stay out of. KK and the new admin have doomed themselves by not listening to the employee survey, and most of the staff keep taking the high stress out on each other. I almost feel like the EAG is a joke because most of the needed change recommended isn’t being done for the nurses and CNTs. A lot of great nurses are leaving at the end of the year (if they haven’t left already), and the work load will even be worse, perhaps. At least nobodys been floating (mostly b/c there’s no staff to float).

Abbie’s enjoying the cooler weather, and amazing me daily with the subtle advances she makes. LoL She’s definitely a l’il Barda, and will most likely be a tomboy.

More to follow soon . . . .
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Yes, facebook is addictive. [Dec. 12th, 2008|09:38 pm]
[Current Mood | tired]

Okay, I admit it. Facebook is more potent than KOTOR and Evercrack. I have no good excuse for abandoning this, other than work, fighting a bad bout of bronchitits. and keeping a very hyper toddler in check.

But I am now in touch with a lot of old friends and co-workers . . . and planting tree and crops like mad.

BTW: thanks Shan, for the card. :)

So what's new?
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Fly by post [Jun. 29th, 2008|03:20 pm]
[Current Mood | peaceful]

Ya know, it’s amazing: I go to Bath & Body Works to snag up some very cool deals on discontinued wallflowers, hand cream and body washes. Then I go to Ebay.com and see that some greedy vultures are selling the very same stuff often for 4x it’s worth.

I finally got my paycheck from the university; though for the first payment, the payroll company deducted $20 from my bank account to wire me for something that was months late from the university. Why am I paying for Keiser’s screw-up?!?

So things have been frenetic here, juggling between hospital work, teaching and house work—though I haven’t been able to do much yard work. I am not complaining; we haven’t had a good rainfall in about 2 years.

Since my last post, I’ve “rescued” three various species of rose bushes that are now thriving near my main entrance. One is a tea rose, that hasn’t bloomed yet but has a lot of new growth. Another is a Cherokee rosebush (again, no blooms but a lot of new growth), and the other is a Lincoln species that is blooming like crazy.

*Blush* Another reason I’ve disappeared from her so long is that my hubby introduced me to Facebook, and I’ve been juggling that in my scant free time.

And I never knew potty-training could be so difficult. *Sigh*

And Min will be here Friday! Huzzah!
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Back in the saddle again – Semester trios [May. 26th, 2008|01:20 am]
[Current Mood | sick]

1. Last week was really hectic, juggling work at the hospital and teaching OB clinicals. Although orientation day was short, the prep work took a lot out of me. Unlike my co-adjunct professor, who barrowed my work from last semester and didn’t even bother to update it, I actually spent time upgrading my info and actually planning incentives for my new cohort of students to succeed. This seems like a good group, and hopefully I can actually maximize their experience.

2. Finally, my Beverly Lewis book from Amazon.com came in! It’s very hard to put the book down, and I can almost picture Lancaster, PA from her descriptions.

3. I had a very negative experience at New Leaf Market last week. Normally, the employees and managers are happy and positive. The gist of a very long rant is that the manager, Lisa, not only acted snobbish to me for asking a simple question, she also verbally dressed down the new employee--in front of me (the customer)—about the company policy and how “they do not hold any type of food (in this case, vacuumed packed, ready to eat Palak Paneer) for anybody!” Okay, I get the message, but did you have to embarrass the poor girl on her first day!? Since it was the manager (with no one over her readily available), I had to type an email the next day to their website, hoping I would reach Lisa’s superior and curtailing her from making anyone else’s life miserable. The bad news is that New Leaf is the only really good whole food and/or organic market in town, so I may have just burned my bridge.

4. Abbie ate half an apple on her own today. She’s really trying to be independent. Saturday, she walked up to another little girl in a store and gave her a hug, but shied away from the group of girls who approached her later. I’m guessing the other child really needed a hug b/c Abbie usually isn’t bashful in groups.

5. Yarg, I hate hay fever!

Btw: thank you everyone for your symathy and prayers.
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The Aftermath or Getting Life Back to Some Semblance of Normalcy. [Apr. 30th, 2008|12:46 am]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Mood | contemplative]
[Current Music |23 Days - SheDaisy]

X-posted to LJ and MySpace, and edited because I apparently can't type at the wee hours of the morning.

Like mostly everything in my life, I thought the grieving process would last a day or two—at most a week—and then I’d continue live from where I left off before my world went kabloey.

But as in most things, you don’t always get what you want.

Sleep and repose have been awfully hard to come by the last 2 weeks. The night after I learned of my father’s death, I took a very fine Riesling that I’d saved for an important occasion, and guzzled it in about 2 hours. Granted it numbed the ache in my mind and soul (and it shut up that durn lullaby I kept hearing over repeatedly in my dad’s voice) for the night, but the relief was only temporary . . . and I wasted a very good wine.

I went to back one day too early, not realizing that Karen had given me bereavement leave. Had I known, I would have stayed home and saved the unit some headaches, even if the patient had been a wench and deserved the tongue-lashing I would have giving her in front of Dr Simmons. Still, my daughter needs food and diapers, so I went and made an emotional fool of myself. Yes, see my dear Abbie, your momma isn’t perfect; she’s human and prone to making questionable actions. When I was younger, my father and several others tried to place me on this impossibly high pedestal of expectations and assumptions of perfection. No one should be treated that way or even accept that position, but before I show others I had limitations and was fallible, I had to learn to accept myself for who I really am, warts and all.

So, my dad wasn’t the best of dads. He certainly caused us a lot of heartache and abandonment. Yet, there are happy memories of him when I was a child. And on some rare but crucial conditions, he did make up for his failings: like when he took me to the surgeon when a drunk driver hit a car behind mine and I nearly bleed to death because my PCP refused to authorize a second opinion. Then, instead of putting my beloved English collie to sleep himself when Tippie had stomach cancer (during the late 70s, when chemo for dogs wasn’t heard of), my dad got a fellow vet to administer the med after I had said goodbye to a faithful friend. He was a product of an abusive, alcoholic father. As a teen, he survived the worst of the Great Depression, and as a young man, he was a front row eyewitness to the horrors during WW2. Abbie, that’s your Poppa Pitts. Like my grandpa, one of yours was taken away when you are too young to really know or miss him, but I want you to read this one day, look over the pictures of him in younger years, and come to see and hopefully embrace a whisper of what was.

Very early Monday morning, I was almost placed in a hairy situation that I’d rather not experience again. Some EMTs from near Marianna dropped off a young woman 25 weeks pregnant, with contractions 1-2 apart, vaginally bleeding, and with absolutely no prenatal care . . . even though she’d been assigned a TMH OB a good while back. I haven’t entubated anyone, and they were looking at me to do NRP on a preemie that had absolutely no shot of surviving if it was delivered now. Respiratory was a pain to get a hold of (I finally had to do an overhead page just to get them on standby). Thank heavens Drs Duncan and Hugger were on call. Hugger was there in less than 10 minutes, and we were able to transfer the woman to TMH within 45 minutes . . . but after the last few weeks of not being able to transfer a patient to any nearby hospital, I was afraid that wasn’t going pan out. Thank God everything worked out. We were already full with several of Dr Davenport’s inductions (why that man wants to schedule inductions on a Sunday night is beyond my ken, and why a woman would consent to going into active labor on a Sunday night is even more mystifying).

I have a whole week off from there (halleluiah!), but I am so exhausted with so much to do around the house. Our yard literally resembles the Outback. Since my mom is so peculiar about her little push gas mower, I’ve been thinking about buying an electric powered one for myself to tackle our small lawn. I’ve been doing some research on various models, but I need to wait till the end of this month to actually get one. Hopefully, our lawn will have been tended to by then.

Time to go get some rest. I stayed up long past my bedtime last night trying to get some busy work done on the computer, and Abbie so sapped my strength today. I am so thankful for a loving husband and mom to help me out with taking care of our L’il Barda.

Btw: Happy Birday Jeremy.
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BOHICA [Apr. 12th, 2008|07:15 am]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Mood | crushed]

James Roy Pitts

December 21, 1921 - April 11, 2008

Daddy, my only regret is that you never had a chance to sing to Abu like you did to me, or spoil her with things like you did Jason and Jenni.

But I am glad you are not suffering anymore.

I love you Dad.

Namaarie, amin mela lle.
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Oh that this too solid flesh would thaw and resolve itself into a dew . . [Apr. 7th, 2008|01:30 am]
[Current Mood | melancholy]

A good friend and former co-worker received some very bad news last week. Her 10 year-old daughter was having terrible headaches off and on for some time. Last week, Sara (Paula’s daughter) had an MRI, and the results showed Sara had a tumor, specifically an estroblastoma the size of an orange, inside her head. The doctor did surgery immediately, but was only able to remove 90% of the tumor.

Paula is a single mom with only one living relative left, her brother who is helping her out. Still, I know the bills are mounting, and I know Paula is going through a physical as well as a financial pain.

Some of us at her old job are trying to help her out monetarily . . . but I am mad at myself for my current state and questioning myself on what to do. Initially, I wanted to give Paula $200 in cash (she won’t refuse the help that way: if I gave her a check, she would not cash it). But I just went through an unexpected major car repair, and we are just finished paying off some major bills ourselves. A part of me wants to be selfless and give what my heart wants to give. After all, Paula gave us 4 months worth of diapers when I was about 8 months along with Abbie. I’ve know Paula for 8 years, and she always does things for others without the slightest bit of fuss or hesitancy. She’s worked very hard over the years and won’t complain about much (except when we were short on M&Ms in our vending machine). She’s not well off, but she’s always managed to get by without complaining or mourning over what she didn’t have.

So why do I feel so rotten about cutting my goal down to $100? Even though Beau and I both work, we barely get by, and our own house is in sore need of needful (not wishful) repairs. I think I can give more at a later time, but I hate myself for putting my family’s needs over that of a true crisis. I am so fortunate to have such a healthy, intelligent daughter. I never want to think that it’s something I or Beau deserved because of who we are. No, I know it’s because a loving God wanted to show the world that something extraordinary and precious could spring from the mundane.

I have other friends and family I so strongly want to help, and I feel bound to my own financial restrictions. Yet it also saddens me that we don’t have enough to get a better house for our family, and then have reserve to help others.

How do you balance moral obligation with duty obligations?
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Just call me Raistlin Majere or the Hacker . . . [Mar. 24th, 2008|02:34 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood | productive]
[Current Music |Create TV]

Now my poor Beau has come down with this flu mess. Abbie has almost recovered. As the second to come down with this unwanted visitor, I'm still stuffy and cough up a storm sporadically. Still, there's work to be done around here, and I'm thankful I'm feeling much better than I did this time last week.

The other night, Abbie resisted going to sleep, so I lay by her on her bed, thinking she would settle down and follow my cue to rest (as she usually does). Instead, she head butts me and nearly breaks my nose! I know she didn't mean it, but this kiddo is strong! I feel sorry for the kid who picks on her in kindergarten . . . then again, they deserve whatever she belts out. Still, I sported a very nasty bruise Saturday. I'm sure some people gave my hubby some questionable looks when we shopped.

Ya know, Barach Obama, you say you are for racial tolerance and unity, but comments like "My grandmother was a typical white woman," really make you look stupidly immature. You have a cow over Geraldine Ferraro's opinion about your rise to power and publicity, but you defend your bigoted minister's blatant racial and unpatriotic diatribes. Who's the real hypocrite? Although I loathe Hillary's POV, I'm seriously beginning to think that she is the more viable of the democratic candidates. Kudos to Larry King for giving Barach a much deserved tongue lashing.

Now back to spring cleaning while I still have some energy (and Abbie's still napping).
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The week in review [Mar. 15th, 2008|05:07 am]
[Current Mood | sore]
[Current Music |This Old House - PBS]

Wednesday Night

This week has been a hectic week, but today was super nuts!

It all started when Abbie spiked a sudden high fever this evening. She was very tired, but she played all day. I first noticed something unusual when her cheeks looked rosier than usual. Her cheeks were incredibly warm. At first I thought I my hands were too warm, but then Beau came over and noticed she was feeling hot. When the thermometer started climbing above 102.7 axillary, I didn’t wait for it to stop. I started drawing up tepid water bath. Normally, L’il Barda loves baths, but tonight she keened like a banshee. After a bit of Tylenol, Jell-O and cool fluids, she’s cooled down and is acting more like her normal self.

When I rushed over to the local Publix to stock up on some Jell-O, my car decided to act wonky. Now I’m facing another huge bill. Although I’m paid reasonable well at my job, between the emergency trip to Orlando, the time I had to take off (without pay) to take care of my Uncle Rhab, ordering the replacement part for my sleeper sofa, and my nurse license renewal, I took a pretty big hit bill-wise this month. *Sigh* I’m not complaining, but it just seems things like these always come in large, unexpected batches.

So when I finally arrive to Publix, just before closing, a little old lady decides to hold up the sole checkout line by swiping her credit card several times the wrong way. The computer processing the transaction decides to stall, and then the lady doesn’t know how to sign the credit card pad, so the clerk tries to help her. I must admit molar dust was flying out of my mouth with each delay and obstacle.

Although I prayed and meditated especially today, I still do not think I was totally prepared for all this, and probably should have not been so busy earlier today before all these occurrences. Then again, adversity took advantage of the situation to shake my confidence in God, but the old bugger hasn’t. So there.

Otherwise, things have been great. Next Monday, Beau’s parents are coming down from NJ to visit. I really haven’t had time to clean up the house, and I really have reservations about having visitors’ coming over when it look like those tornadoes last week came through our house and yard. Thankfully, we were spared the worst of the bad weather, but it’s been extremely challenging to pick up limb debris and mow the lawn when we’ve been working odd hours, not to mention juggling care of a very active 21 month old.

For a toddler, Abu’s really has an extremely great appetite! She still loves veggies and fruits, but doesn’t like sweet stuff at all. She started mastering the fork. I’ve been dicing up hard cheeses and organic Fiji apples for her to practice on. She loves them! My little fork master. J

She’s also learned to share things (toys, binkies and sippie cups) with children and adults. She also has a very loving personality: she loves group hugs and now will sometimes shake people’s hands. This seems to be of innate things more than anything we have taught Abbie. I am so proud of her!

You can now add Ni-hao, Kailan to Abbie’s list of favorite programs. I have to admit I enjoy it too. It seems to remain faithful to Chinese culture, and we’ve all learned a little Chinese. Between the Old High German (a la NaNa), Spanish (habló español hasta era una niñita) French and now Chinese, my daughter should be way ahead of the foreign language learning curve than most children her age. She can even count to two on her own, but needs a little help with 3 and 4.

Why is it that evil people seem to get away with doing bad things to very nice people? I have observed that people like Doug & Laura, Tom and Roger seem to gravitate towards nice people who won’t defend themselves when these types of jerks take advantage of the kindness of others. It seems even crueler when it’s family or someone you really care about.
________________________________________

Early Saturday morning

Abbie’s still sick, and I haven’t slept well since this all started. She hasn’t run as high a fever since that first night, but it’s been rough. Today, trying to keep food and liquids down her has really been a challenge. Everything seems to get ten times worse around 4pm, which probably means she has a bear of a virus.

To top it off, I’ve got nothing done around the house. I really dread Monday.

Every bone in my body feels like a QB who forgot to wear his protective pads on game day. Since my other co-workers have developed similar ailments, and they seem to go away when we’ve been away from the family unit, Sabrina, Shaquila, Jeanie and I are starting to believe there’s something at the nursing station that’s making us all so sick. Dust mites in the carpet or upholstery?
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And now, there are only two. [Jan. 15th, 2008|03:54 am]
[Tags|]
[Current Mood | crushed]

( Tribute, to the one in the middle )

Uncle Rhab, I did not realize how big the hole would be without you here. There are so many of you up there now, and so little of us down here. Your baby sister and baby brother are cold and crying. The tipi light flickers and we look up to the night sky for solace. Wado.

The pain is so fresh, and the anger so old. Dr Ballaro has much to answer for. I am almost certain that if he had not botched up Glen’s surgery, we would have had uncle Rhab for another year or so. My uncle loved his baby son so much, he died slowly with grief. . . . . A few of my coworkers from the old CRMC may remember that Dr Ballaro stopped doing his gastric bypass soon after he botched up on a cousin close to my age. That was uncle Rhab’s son. I was counting narcotics at the end of the shift, and didn’t know till I got home that the “code blue” I heard overhead was for Glen.

Out of my mom’s ten siblings, I only have one living uncle left. A once large, close-knit family has been whittled away to a precious few. I know the majority of them are in heaven, but it still hurts. I so want to talk to maw or Aunt Polly, how I long to share a cup of coffee with them once again, to tell them all about Abbie and her latest antics, or how so afraid I am of stagnating in my nursing career. I thought I was so capable of handling this loss, but it hurt me just the same. Soon, I know the phone will ring again. This time it will be my brother delivering news I don’t want to hear, and the tears will burn even more.

Be thankful for each passing moment.
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I’m so thankful for peaceful quietness. [Jan. 1st, 2008|10:33 pm]
[Current Mood | content]

I must be nuts: for about the next few days our high will be about 44 and our lows will be around 24-29, and I’m absolutely ecstatic! My daughter can’t go out in this weather, and I used to catch the worst colds in this type of chill. But now it only seems to give me a certain amount of peace . . . that and I don’t have to worry about mosquitoes and snakes lurking about.

*Sigh* I know I’m in redneck country when I hear just as many gunshots fire off as fireworks last night. Why is it that people above the Mason-Dixon line now have more “Southern Charm” than the people below?

I’ve just completed consecutive 3 day 12 hour shifts (at night). It might as well have been 3 concurrent shifts, for I feel more tired than I have in months. Still, I don’t think I could have accomplished such a feat after delivering Abbie, and my hubby has commented that he thought I was possessed by Martha Stewart last week.

Yikes, I’m failing in love with Atari emulators again!

Has anyone subscribed to the online Marvel subscription? When I used the free online service CG had, I hated the slow downloads, but it was neat to have access to online subscriptions that I normally didn’t purchase. I hear that they allow you to access all 30 years worth of Marvel comics, which would be extremely cool now that we have limited storage space (and I’m trying to whittle down what we have around here now). I’m still reluctant into getting a long term deal since the wounds of CG are still fresh in my memory, but I’m hoping Marvel has improved on something Alessi couldn’t.

Btw. Guess what L’il Barda got for Christmas? *Chortle* Mr. Wriggles! (Yes, it’s an inside joke.)
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Christmas cards [Dec. 5th, 2007|10:13 pm]
[Current Mood | content]

Some of you are already on our list. This year's offering is a group photo, thus you have to put up with Abbie's parents also. So please post your address if you would like to receive one. The comments are screened to protect the guilty.
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addendum [Sep. 16th, 2007|06:21 pm]
I forgot to mention that L'il Barda is growing stronger and smarter every day. When she needs a diaper change, she now walks over to the nursery door and stands there. 100% time now, she does need a diaper change.

She now says: mama, daddie, na-na, shoe, No!, going-going, ba-ba (for bottle), wow, I U 9for I love you) and back-back (and responds to it if we say it).
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Two steps and you know she's gone . . . or something like that. [Jul. 20th, 2007|11:06 am]
[Current Mood | tired]
[Current Music |Hannah Jane - Hootie and the Blowfish]

Apologies abound to all. Yes, I’ve been lurking sporadically, but contributing nothing useful. It seems my time and energies have been sucked away with RL.

On the whole, I’ve gotten a lot of DIY projects completed: like installing low flow shower heads and hanging up thermal shades underneath the curtains. (Just in time: this hot weather here is getting brutal!) I haven’t caught up on the yard work or the indoor stuff as much as we need to, but what can you do when Abbie’s in this icky mode where all her teeth decide to come at once (or at least, six of them decided to) and Abbie can’t be consoled unless you’re holding her?

I am about close to strangling my cousin Leigh. Her husband brought over several of their friends the other day and they were wasting water by shooting it up in the air in the front yard. Don’t they know there’s a critical drought going on?! Several wells in neighboring Jefferson and Suwannee counties have dried up and some are without water because of it. Since I have city water, this isn’t much of a problem for me, but my mom shares the same well that Leigh and Robert use. If they dry up her well, and they will at the rate they are going, mom would have to pay thousands of dollars to get a pro to come and dig a new well for her—money she doesn’t have. Leigh and her hubby are such idiots!! We don’t even water our lawns, but those two can be seen regularly watering their postage stamp of a lawn at midday or the afternoon when the officials have said NOT to water lawns. Grrrr. *Smacks head repeatedly*

Work’s been crazy the last few weeks, but not too bad. I haven’t had time or the energy to go to the gym to work out, but maybe I can remedy that soon. I do not think I’ll renew my membership at Leach: simply because it’s too much of a hassle to drive over there and find a parking space . . . plus the hassle of their odd hours of operation. The closest options are Gold’s Gym downtown or Southwood’s YMCA, neither of which have a pool.

Next week is mom’s birthday. I’ve still got to order her cake and get her a card and present. I think I know what to get her, but I’ve got to be sneaky about it.

We are so close to getting out home theater system via our points-reward from AC Nielsen. I am so jazzed about it. Now that we have digital cable, we can really enjoy our TV, especially the on demand function.

The other night, Abbie started climbing on our large ottoman. She has such energy and drive. When she sets her mind on something, she goes all out to achieve her goal. I have to be careful not to stifle that trait, especially when she skirts danger. I remember my father never supported me wanting to go to medical school. His lack of financial and mental support really, in retrospect, was my undoing back then. I don’t want to revisit that era with Abbie. Whatever she wants to do, as long as she’s happy and it doesn’t cause harm, we both want to encourage her to pursue her dreams with all her might.

She’s already has her own likes that totally differ from us. For instance, she really loves her veggies and fruits, but she’s not into sweets that much. I, on the other hand, have a wicked sweet tooth. Although I’m getting better at increasing my organic and whole food selections, I still sneak in more than my allotted yearly quota, if you believe the US estimates.

The second week in August, we’ll all be out of town. Eck, time is speeding up on me. I’ve been toying with the idea of sporting my hair similar to a style like Angelina Jolie. Funny, a couple of years ago, I could understand why Minnie liked her so, now I understand. Of course, I still feel my baby is way prettier than Shiloh. :p

*Sigh* I’m really getting discouraged with the Assemblies of God, my childhood denomination. Apparently, the local presbyters have gone against their promise not to sell one of the local churches situated near FSU’s campus. The small church was suppose to be used by Chi Alpha, but CA’s mismanaged so many things around here . . . it all makes me angry. I know not all AoG leaders are that false; I only keep my membership for the sake of my cousin in New Brockton. *sigh*

Time to get ready for work. I hope everyone has a good weekend. I’ll try to read and reply to everyone’s email and replies later this weekend, but please don’t give up on me if I don’t.
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While waiting for my Warchant.com account to activate . . . [Nov. 12th, 2006|09:33 am]
I think it’s time. The Boosters did it with Mudra when he failed to perform and when he alienated the fans and players. It was done discreetly and quietly (my mothers was one of the Boosters at that time who was pivotal in that era that opened up the door for BB to be hired after Mudra’s contract was bought out). No one has been a more loyal and supportive fan than my family has (as a Creek-Seminole, I have a special relationship with the university). But as one stated, it is time for a change. Nothing will ever take away Bobby’s legendary accomplishments at FSU, but it is time for him to step down and allow new leadership to bring discipline to the team. I’ve heard several people in the know mention Coach Steele. I hear the boys respect him, and that he is not afraid to get in the boys’ face if they do something wrong. Personally, I would like to see Mickey get a stab at the position, but his age and health may hamper him.

*Sigh* I hate J-Pa and Lou Holtz mudding the waters with their comments. Curse ESPN!

I hope TK wises up and allows a graceful resolution before the Senior Boosters bring in the lawyers.



Baby had a rough couple of days. Cellulitis in her right big toe. She's doing better. Mommy's extremely tired.
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Eureka! [Dec. 5th, 2004|08:45 pm]
I finally found an avatar that matches my hair and my temperment.

Poor Tina's gonna be in therapy after this news.



Halfway through with my portfolio. Freedom is in sight!

As to to the above and the recent spat of lemmingness, please ignore . . . graduate school tends to make one quirky at times.

A more sensible update to follow soon.
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An Emergance from the Mundane [Dec. 2nd, 2004|10:27 am]
[Current Mood | busy]

Last night I had the strangest dream, mostly about old friends I haven't seen in ages. But it was the first full, non-interrupted rest I've got in a week. It must be the stress of the semester and coursework coming to an end. The other night, for example, I first dreamt I was attending a college up in New England, and then I turned into a Borg (the original versions) and was being hunted down by something. Man that was weird.

Tomorrow I give my last lecture, and then I only need to grade a few more papers and finish up my portfolio. I see the light at the end! Funny, I never thought I'd be so glad to be out in the real world again. If I ever go for my PhD, it won't be at FSU's school of nursing. I have never seen such disorganization and dysfunctional brown-nosing in one department.

By the way, why is the CGMB down?

I know I am capable of higher level reasoning, but I am just too tired to function at that level now.
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Rant over. [Nov. 27th, 2004|05:14 am]
[Current Mood | mellow]

It's amazing what a few hours of rest and a cup of spicy tea will do for a person. Needless to say, I got a new perspective on my portfolio and myother immediate problem. *Chuckling at self* The last few weeks have been nerve wracking to the point that most people in my lot would have chucked everything and started over afresh. Instead, I try to internalize problems and burn myself out in the process. That's the nature of the medical profession, I am told: we try to save everything and everyone but ourselves.

Anyways, I hope everyone had a pleasant holiday. For the first time in ages, I showed great restraint, even though my mother is a wonderous cook. I had to work Thanksgiving Eve, and wasn't for certain if I would have to work the next night, so I didn't go off the bandwagon as the rest of USA did. I'll wait till next weekend at the hospital's party.

Okay, 2 teaching objectives covered, only 7 more to go before Dec 8.
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Dang hon, how did this happen? Falls over laughing. [Nov. 19th, 2004|06:14 am]
Thanks to Dave for showing me this silly little quiz.

( blind date: the results )



It's been an incredibly busy week by far: taught lecture to 70 students on Monday, got harassed by the Ed department at HCA--then by my boss/manager who made a typically lame excuse to brush off her responsibilities, and ran around like a headless chicken with my clinical students on Tuesday and Wednesday. I am proud of my clinical students because they really learned how to manage several heavy duty patients this week. One is beginning to worry me. She seems to hide for most of the day, rarely asks questions and hasn't done well on her care maps. When I followed her Wednesday to observe her perform glucose testing on one of her clients, she seemed too unprepared with her materials and her technique that even the patient picked up on it and asked her to leave. She tried to draw blood from the man's callused fingers, among other things. My internal urge was to save this student from failing, but she doesn't seem to get it that she is on the verge of receiving an unsatisfactory grade. What's more frustrating is that she won't even ask for help, whereas the other students are nearly bombarding me with questions. She got one more week, then two more papers due, to pull her performance up. It's just heartbreaking.

I had a lovely walk around Lake Ella with Beau. I have some amusing photos I'll post a little later. Today was really a nice reprieve from the frenetic, mind numbing drill I've been handed the last few weeks. Beau and I investigated a new store, Fresh Market, which has a nice variety of foodstuffs for both the frugal and the extravagant patrons in mind. *Sigh* The brick mint, which I haven't found or experienced in 20 years, was a very happy find. They had Peet's coffee, but none of Peet's teas. Guess I'll either have to travel back to Cincinnati, or go online.

Haven't slept much tonight, just doozed on and off. I am sleepy, but my heart beat feels real tachy, like I should be excited or something. Odd.
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Falls out of my chair . . . with some food for thought [Nov. 10th, 2004|06:29 pm]
[Current Mood | quixotic]

I'll live, and will not habor any disaffections.

Today was our (Negs and I) two-year anniversary.  It doesn't seem like it's been that long ago since Stephie screamed a booming "Omigawd" over the phone that first day.  Time really seems to be speeding up since then.

I've been so bad about updating my journal, and I heartily apologize for that.  My students are new to the hospital and have had a literal trial by fire.  From the theory hall, straight to the oncology ward.  This week, they had a dose of real life and why breast self exams are so important, even for youngsters like myself (anyone under 40).  Some of the cases were really heartbreaking.

*Chuckle*  It's funny to watch people make assumptions, then blow their minds away when they realize how so off base he or she is.  Today, a young male nursing student was trying to make idle conversation in the cafeteria line.  He recognized me as one of the teaching assistants, and began to ask me questions.

"I hear graduate school is much easier than undergraduate."

I think I was stunned at this remark and gave the speaker a quizzical look such that he repeated the question again.  After thinking about the myriad of sarcastic replies I could have offered, I decided to humor him.  "Possibly, if you like to write a lot of 30-paged essays on a biweekly basis."

He looked surprised and asked, "Well 'they' said it was easier."  Notice he never said who offered him that false supposition, as though 'they' were phantoms of the hidden department that we never seem to locate.  "Didn't you go to undergraduate here?"

"No," I replied calmly, deciding to save him the long litany of my trek from med school to the Air Force academy and back, "I attended FAMU."

For those not in the know, FAMU is considered a predominantly African American university.  Truth be told I searched for the best and nearest university that could help me gain my nursing degree with minimal headaches.  Long story shortened: FAMU was (at that time) the best medical program in Florida.  You went through 2 years of blood, sweat and tears, but it produced nurses and NPs who were more than prepared to ace any board exam.

Somehow, though, I was prepared to hear this young man's next question.  "How did it feel to be white . . ." he paused and started again, "you know, the minority in an all black school?"

Now I was disappointed in this man's response.  Obviously he enveloped the Southern redneck assumptions about people in this area.  I'd been called many things in my life, but "white" was rarely one of them.

"Well,” I began, keeping my composure, "it doesn't matter which University I go to, I will always be a minority."  It was the truth; although I am part Scot's Irish, but just a small part.

Finally, the young man sensed he had just stepped into a trap of his own making.  He started looking ahead, willing the line to speed up.  Just as the cashier rang the person ahead of him, he finally gathered the nerve to talk again.  "Uh, what are you?"

I paused a little, respecting the man for his odd braveness, but a bit annoyed that I had to be pegged into a group other than nurse, teacher, daughter or wife.  Then with a resounding pride I told him, "I am Seminole-Creek."

"You must not get out in the sun often," he spoke, fumbling for his money that he nearly spilled all over the floor.

"True," I acknowledge as matter of fact, "but you are basing your judgment on too many films.  Most Atlantic Coast Native Americans are pale-skinned."  By this point, the young man was ready to run, and I must admit I was only too happy to see him leave me alone.  Still, I find it unfortunate that a thread of intolerance and prejudice still hides among higher education.

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